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Settling In - Family here for a year now

on this day, September 23rd, we left our house in Media with 6 suitcases, 3 car seats, a disturbingly large number of devices that require charging, and a pocketful of hopes, fears and wishes, and headed up the NJ turnpike towards Newark - and eventually our destination Beijing.  On one hand, who would have imagined all the things we have experienced, but on the other, it all feels very natural and normal.  I guess it means the normal might be one of the more relative words in the english language.  our 2007 normal was much different than our 2009 normal...but my guess is yours are different too.  

I just can't believe its been a year.  Being both busy and happy make the time really fly.

So down to today - we are pretty much settled into the apartment.  The place is really nice.  This apartment is an unserviced apartment, and where we were before was serviced.  The big difference is you don't have maid service 5 days a week.  We compensated for that by hiring a second Ayi.  No problem at all.  Another slightly (by me I mean) overlooked difference is utilities.   In the serviced apartment, they are included in the overall bill.  For an unserviced apartment, you have to set up accounts for the services - water (3 types- hot, cold and gray (toilets - non drinking etc.), propane, electric, phone, tv, Internet, air conditioning and heat.   All utilities are prepaid here.  Many of them have meters in the house that are recharged via a reloadable smart card.  These smart cards are usually associated with a specific local bank.  In order to load these cards, you have to open an account with this bank.  Of course, each bank had a different utility exclusively!  For my friends who live in houses, this is a major pain in the ass.  For apartment residents, its a little easier.  I pay my apartment management company for water, ac/heat, my landlord pays local phone, internet and tv - and I just need to open two bank accounts for electric and propane.  Still a pain the ass, bit it could be worse.  So you can get a little insight into the business environment I am working in - convenience (especially with banks) isn't even a consideration, and most everyone's life is pre-paid.  My cell phone is pre-paid, my massage card is pre-paid, my utilities are pre-paid.  Big mindset to overcome and influence...

So the first day in the apartment, the electricity went out for about 1 hour, as I struggled to figure out how to get it back on.  I now know, but it was frustrating at the time.  The move was relatively uneventful.  It took most of the day and three trips with the movers.  One piece of furniture, our big blue cabinet, wouldn't fit in the new apartment elevator.  So I paid the 4 movers $80 to carry it up 34 flights of stairs!  Gotta love cheap labor here.

The kids are adjusting well - except for Declan.  He got the upgrade to the big boy bed, but its still taking some adjustment.  Amy had borne the brunt of his nighttime antics, but hopefully he gets there soon.  They love their new playroom.  We have had one complaint from the neighbors about noise early in the morning - especially the little pitter patter of running...we are trying to get them to not run on the hard wood floors...wish us luck.

We are watching Beijing transform as it prepares for the October 1 parade in celebration of its 60th anniversary.  Its a ridiculously big deal here.  We are leaving for Tokyo next Wednesday, so we hopefully will miss all that craziness. So a year later, we are grizzled veterans of Beijing getting the hell out of dodge when things get too complicated.  Kinda feels normal...

Happy Autumn

I hope everyone is having a nice weekend.  Autumn (or being able to be outside without having to change your shirt weather is here.)  They say September and October are the nicest time of the year here.  The weather is in the low 70s with blue skies, less worse pollution...you know the weather really is nice when you see the Chinese break out the coats for the morning commute.  That means I can wear a short-sleeve shirt comfortably. 

Another busy week for us here...as we pack up all of our belongings for our move in 48 hours.  After doing some of that this time last year (only bringing essentials to China with no furniture), packing up our house this summer for renters, and now this move, it never ceases to amaze me how much shit you can accumulate.  We are ready, have packed up the kitchen and are eating take out for every meal.  

We will be off the internet on monday as we unplug the computer and move.

This weekend outside of packing did include a few fun activities.  Amy, the girls and I rode out bikes to the 798 district (arts community in old missile factory).  Its a little far, but it was a nice ride.  Today, Amy and I went around on bikes and I ended up taking her to the Chinese massage place I go to.  We each had an intense 90 minute massage followed by some shanxi noodles for lunch.  The quality is very good and its cheap.  Its not a fancy as the western style spa amy goes to, but this is high end for local chinese.  I will take you here when you come visit.

The town is abuzz preparing for the national celebration on october 1.  Many places are shutting down on september 15th.  There are lots of practices for the parade and everything grinds to a halt.  Its a little like new york's east side when the president is at the UN except they actually kick everyone out of stores and restaurants - no matter what.  In situations like this, the Chinese do not mess around.  Thank goodness we will be in Tokyo on the 1st.

It seems like things are stabilizing in america.  Obama looked and sounded good last week.  I just read a good article in newsweek about Jamie Dimon (our CEO).  When you look back 1 year ago, we were facing a lot of personal anxiety about the big move here.  We were also facing this insane professional uncertainty - especially after Lehman.  Not that things are any less uncertain for anybody, but things aren't going to cease to exist - and no one was sure about that then.  I had many friends tell me I was lucky I was going to China, and they are probably right, but i did take the risk to pursue it and move my family here.  Its too early to say what the right call was, but we made it as a family and we do not regret it.

I will post our new address when i get the official chinese version.  I will get that on tuesday after i register our move with the police (its sounds way more ominous than it is - cops here are a little like security guards at kids r us)

Be well.

Busy Times

Its been a little while since a post.  We are very busy with our lives here in Beijing, as we head into fall we have many events happening. 

Event 1:  Next week we are finally moving to the new apartment.  We are 50% packed into boxes and the mover shows up at 8am next Tuesday.  The process is pretty simple and we don't have too much stuff, but moving is never that much fun.  Also, its crazy cheap - 220RMB to move us - thats $30. Amy has worked really hard to find bedding and towels for us that meet our quality standards at a good price.  She's made many trips to the fabric market and to the restaurant supply market to find just the right things.  It can be pretty expensive when you need to by towels for 3 bathrooms and bedding for 5 beds.  We got great deals on all of the stuff and all in (including these amazing silk filled comforters) for about 4000RMB.  Its was some work, but Amy saved a bunch of money and the quality is very good.  The kids are excited to move to the new apartment too.  Because we will have a playroom, Amy had a great idea to decorate the room like a school room with fun and engaging activities etc. 

Event 2:  On September 30th, we will go to Tokyo for 5 days and plan to spend most of it at Disneyland.  Amy has put together a schedule for us to make sure the kids don't miss anything.  It should be fun, and it will also be good to get out of Beijing during the national holiday - this is the 60th anniversary and a really big deal here.  Security will be crazy.  No reason to be here.  Disney sounds much better.

Event 3:  Sometime in the middle of October, Amy's cousins Emily and Brian will be here on a multicity trip to China.  They will stay with us, and we will try to show them a great time in Beijing.

Event 4:  On the tail end of that visit, Amy's mom and her nephew, Andrew, will be here to spend 10 days.  We are looking forward to that visit very much and during the stay, we will get to celebrate Declan's 2nd birthday.

Event 5:  My friends Udai and Kristen will spend a few days in Beijing with us.  They too are doing an Asian whirlwind.  We look forward to showing them around and have some roast duck.

Event 6:  My parents and sister will be here for about 9 days over the thanksgiving holiday.  This is a repeat of last year's trip for them, but we will try to do new things.

Event 7:  Elizabeth turns 3 in early December - this means she will also start going to school. 

Event 8:  The week before Christmas, we are all going to Sanya for a week of beachtime.  Because it is China, we get to bring our Ayi, Ivy for the trip.

Event 9:  Christmas

We definitely have a lot going on.  Between work for me, Amy's activities and all of these events, there not much time for too much else.

Tired yet - or you can come visit at the Field Bed and Breakfast - we still have a few weekends open

knowing poor

before I have shared our charity work in China with migrant children.  It has been a very rewarding experience for all of the constituents, but recently we were confronted with a case that required some special attention.  A co-worker of mine was approached by a teacher at the school and said that there was a special hardship case that we might be interested in.  Now to qualify hardship in this environment is difficult for any American to understand.  All of the kids are from very poor families.  No bathrooms, no running water, and usually no heat.  But we were introduced to an issue that would require not only our time, but also some financial support.

The three top kids in the entire school are from one family (two twin girls and their younger brother) - I know china is 1 child, but many poor and rural people break the rules, and too avoid fines they don't get things like birth certificates.  Now this family is the poorest in the school by far.  Both parents are disabled.  The father has an amputated leg and cannot work.  The mother has glaucoma and is blind in both eyes.  Neither are from Beijing so the critical hu kou (local id - the ticket to health care and other social services like school) is absent.  The kids have potential to move onto a higher quality school, but they have no money.

When presented with this hardship case, a group of us immediately said "no problem" we'll chip in to do the right thing for these kids.

My colleague (who is a real hero on this) went to meet the family this past weekend.  He discovered a few more sobering facts.  In asian culture, males are much more favored than females.  It sucks, but that's just how it is.  So it turns out the girls have been willing to sacrifice their future to take care of the brother.  They stopped going to class last year to tutor him for a big exam.  They also are much more malnourished than he is.  They keep trying to get us to only help him - focus only on him.  We made it clear that we will only help all of them - or none of them.  Also, my colleague saw the living conditions of their "house."  In a trash dump, they had three walls created by piling up loose bricks and rocks 5 feet high...a few random pieces of scrap plywood to cover their head and some fabric on the floor for sleeping.  No chair, no table, no sink, no stove...only one long extension cord hooked up to a makeshift fan with a built in lamp.  And this is where this family of 5 sleeps.  Who knows how they eat.  Who knows how they study.  Who knows how they play.  We do know that as for many in the world, school is the only way out.  They know this as well.  To their current school, they take an hour long bus ride...and they kids are very, very adult and articulate.  I guess life has made them grow up a little faster than other 14 year olds.

So we were able to pull a few strings and get them into a boarding school in the Hebei province (about 2 hours from their parents "house").  My hero colleague is escorting them to school this friday to see they get settled, to pay the bill for tuition, boarding and meal cards.  We are all excited and nervous for them.

I will post updates as we get them.  Here is a picture of them sitting in our car while we could talk to them and actually have a seat.

Update today - I got to meet them in the office after a run to buy glasses for the first time in their life...Inspiring.  

Tonight's Feast and Treats

as mentioned, here is what xiao zhong made

chinese ribs

and this scallion, beansprout, ground pork, garlic and rice noodle dish - very strong peanut flavor as well...excellent

as a reward for such a great job swimming, I took the girls to dairy queen for some blizzards

Here they are awaiting their blizzards

Caroline with her vanilla and mandm

Elizabeth with oreo and mandm

It literally took us 5 times as long to walk back as it took to get there...guess the girls were distracted

it was fun even though i might be in a little trouble for letting elizabeth get so messy

This Week's Update

Hello all.  Sorry its been a little quiet on the blog front, but we have been busy here.  Work is very busy for me right now...the end of year is quickly creeping up and now its time to make sure we put the right amount of points on the board (to use that poor euphemism), but its always good to back half the year since performance is usually determined in October...

The saga of our apartment hunting is finally over.  We are under contract on our new place and move in on September 15th...coincidently our office is also moving that same day.  We have to find a mover, but labor is cheap here.  Amy and I took a trip to Ikea today to scope out some of the housewares we need to buy (kids sheets, comforters, pillow some kitchen stuff, etc.).  For our sheets and towels we will go higher end, so one of amy's projects is to find a good source.  We think that custom made sheets will probably be the cheapest based on the thread count and quality we are looking for (snobby bitches here i know, but what can I say).

Last weekend we had to fire xiao zhou (our second ayi).  Basically her cooking was not up to par and her ability to cook anything beyond stir fry was suspect (despite assurances at the interview that she was well versed in western cooking techniques).  Its not that we want only western food, as we love chinese food.  We just wanted variety.  When we say chicken and celery stir fry for the 3rd time in 9 meals, we knew the end was near.  Also, she had difficulty with the three kids at once, making it difficult for us to trust her if we were away.  Amy did the axing because she is the manager of the household.  Our plan was to now wait until we moved in before finding another...

Our Chariots

I wrote last week how I starting riding my bike to work.  After a week of it, I'm hooked.  Actually, I'm so hooked, I thought it was a good idea to go buy Caroline and Amy some bikes.  Caroline needed one because the little one we brought from america was just too small (plus Elizabeth needed something to ride).  Amy wanted one of the electric mopeds that cover the city to help the getting around and decrease her reliance on cabs.   All in, its been great so far.  Amy needs to get comfortable with the moped as its been awhile for her since she's been on two wheels (at least since she was in her 30's).  On Sunday morning, I took the girls out to ride bikes in the courtyard.

Here they are ready to go!

We park our bikes in the basement garage.  Here you can see mine with the white and brown child seat on the back.  I even bought a bell for the bike (you need it on the streets...trust me)

You can see its a pretty standard cruiser style bike.  It weighs about 5 times more than what my aluminum cannondale at home weighs.

This is Amy's moped (i had side mirrors put on for safety after this photo was taken).

Here is Elizabeth getting her bike (even she has a lock)

The girls - almost ready

Here they are!

They had fun.  I'll try to capture a few on the road pics from my travels.  Its a very interesting and different view of Beijing.

Also, meant to put this up yesterday, but the typhoon shut down the internet.  Outside of some strong rain, we had no other effects here.

Update from this past weekend

Sorry for being a little quiet...we've all been in various stages of recovering from summer colds. 

For our date night, we went back to haiku for some sushi. Amy started with some edamame and i had some miso soup. She also ordered some nigori sake while i had to settle for a diet coke ( 2.5 more weeks with no alcohol). We ordered three different rolls, but we continue to love the torched tuna roll. Its awesome, next time we will just get two of those. I also ordered some kobe fried rice, but while it smelled delicious it was dry, bland and crappy. 

 Saturday started with some more apartment hunting. We saw 3, and found one in park avenue that we love. We put an offer in that day, so cross your fingers. Caroline started her private chinese lessons, and she was very excited. According to the teacher, she did very well and has excellent pronounciation. We went swimming later with the girls. Both caroline and elizabeth are making great progress. 

On sunday we did more mundane things, but i bought something that should change our beijing experience - a bike. Declan and i walked to the bike store and bought a one-speed cruiser for me with a child seat on the back that could accomodate any of the kids. Now bikes are very common on the roads here in china. Heck look back 25 years ago in china and they were the only thing on the road. The main reason i bought the bike is so that i can ride it to a further subway station on the way to work. In about a month our office is moving to the other side of town. If i follow the same subway approach i take now, its two transfers and 1:15 door to door. If i ride a bike to a subway station about 20 minutes away, i can avoid any transfers and turn the commute into :45 door to door...no brainer. Plus you get to see a whole lot more of the city. The kids love the bike and they took turns as we went all around the area yesterday...lots of fun and we will be careful. We'll see if we can get amy on one!

Back in Beijing

Good morning all.  We have been back in Beijing for about two days now.  We are still struggling through the jet lag, but its easier coming back than when it was when we went home.

This was our first trip back home after landing in Beijing last fall.  Many things in the world have changed since then...the economy has fallen apart.  We have a new president. Susan Boyle. etc.   Since our view to the world is through the lens of the internet, we were a little uncertain of what “home” would feel like. 

Since the second we landed in Newark, we were comforted by the fact that everything felt the same. Yes, many dislocations in people’s lives, but the smell, the attitude, the optimism were all still vibrant.   Below are some of the key things we missed:

Memorial Day BBQ with Friends

Lots of grilling out in the backyard

Caroline having playdates with friends

Dinner at Amada with Manning’s old gang

Dinner with Dave and Ulita at Chifa

Manning’s overnight in New York with a dinner at Striphouse

Family Party featuring cheesesteaks, hoagies, and pretzels

Cheese at Di Bruno brothers

Apollo’s Pizza

Pinnochios Pizza

Takeout sushi and champagne with Dave and Ulita

Anniversary Dinner at Lacroix

Drinks with Kristin and Udai

More grilling out

Picking strawberries with Stacy, Jen and their kids and ours at Linvilla

Commercials

the R3

clothes our size in stores

some networking in wilmington

NBA basketball

Noggin and Sprout

Fast internet

Princess dresses at the Disney store

Spending so much time with friends and family

Lastly, lots of grandparents time

This trip also reinforced and hardened our convictions that we have made the correct lifestyle decision to live for an extended period of time overseas.  We have the confidence now that life in America, while always progressing and optimizing, will be more of a constant that the life we will have overseas.  That is incredibly comforting as we pursue our adventures here, and we now know that when we return, we will fit right back into our old patterns and friends without any difficulty.  This feels very good.

We also tried to give as many sales pitches as possible for visitors...please come visit.  We really mean it.

One accomplishment of the trip is we rented our house.  Emotionally we have been holding out, but it just did make much financial sense to continue to leave the house vacant.   Lots of calories burned to get the house ready, but renters move in today!

Here are a few things about China that we missed while being home in America:

Our Ayi - going helpless is really hard...I know this is obnoxious, but this is just how it is

We really missed the ease we had in getting the kids out with other kids...much harder in suburbia...need to coordinate playdates etc.  Here we just walk out the front door

Declan and Elizabeth missed Chinese food.  Their first meal back was completely devoured...kinda like they won a survivor challenge

We missed the ease of transportation...this is probably more a urban suburban thing vs a china america thing

We missed going to the grocery store and not spending $200

So the key indicator of our ability to be expats was when we trudged back up the NJ turnpike, we were ready to come “home.” So this trip was a big pivot for us...home is no longer Philadelphia, home is Beijing.  But don’t be confused by that - hometown, home ownership, home base, still in Philadelphia - and there will be a day when that will again be home, but its just not today.

Two days back, we are tired but our hearts are full from all the love we received back in the States.  

Talk soon.

Reflections Before a Trip Home

Not to be confused by the countdown clock on the homepage of this blog, we are totally excited to go home. 8 months straight in China. Sometimes it feels like yes - that was 8 months, but also it feels like 4 and 16 at the same time. This is a good moment for reflection. I read back through this entire blog and its amazing to see the evolution and the experiences we’ve had. Its also good to ponder what we expected upon arrival. We knew that personally it would be hard. We went from lovely 2 car suburban lifestyle to no car urban lifestyle in one of the world’s largest city. We knew language was a massive barrier, but I am extremely proud of the progress Amy and the kids have made, and I feel like I am on a realistic path to fluency. We knew we could do that. I told Caroline that she better study hard so we can talk shit about Amy in front of her! Work is both exactly and nothing of what I expected. I have no regrets and am growing professionally from it. I can’t say much, but China is the betty ford center for control freaks...its very healthy to learn how to operate and be effective without having control. Below are some funny pictures from this weekend that capture the irony of China: 

 

Here are some things we will miss about China as we come back home for a visit: 

our Ayi - its a big help to Amy 

being able to bump into people with no aggressive - don’t fucking touch me attitude a live and let be attitude 

Here is what I am looking forward to: 

BBQ on my grill 

A yard to mow English 

No grandma panty lines (excellent band name). I suspect all thongs are made in china, but none are worn here. 

lastly and most importantly, friends and family....see you soon!